You surviving the open bar?
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so you had a one ended conversation with the toilet las night in between barfs. you kept telling the toilet how strong it was because its gone through a lot of shit in its life.
drunk me is so punny.
if they reproduce, their children will be the worst quarters players ever
Yes, that's a picture of my balls. It isn't however an answer to my question.
I misjudged the power of my pelvic thrusting capabilities. His nose is broken. Thoughts?
Thank you, I really appreciate that. I know I couldn't participate in class tonight and I hope that doesn't affect my grade too much. So please let me know of any extra credit opportunities such as fellatio
I had to ask. I mean when you get a snap chat of a nipple you have to ask who's it is.
I just found one of your beard hairs in my oatmeal.
Don't judge me like that. At least the house is getting cleaned. If I have to drink and listen to Disney music on repeat for that to happen, so be it.
she grabed my junk and started making lightsaber noises
I wonder if you could get her in a metal bikini
The sad moment you remember you have no power for a week and can't flush.....
Wrong number bro but that sounds like a damn shame.
We need a signal or code word for "I basically shaved my whole body and we should touch each other tonight".
We made out in front of everyone INCLUDING his girlfriend. And no one saw. THAT DRUNK!
I didn't think you were that drunk until you were trying to rub your foot on my vag under the table at the thai place.
God, I missed his penis.
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