tell her no need for introductions. and that you've read about her on the back of toilet doors.
Just hooked up on shake weight girl's dad's porsche. What are YOU doing with your life?
My dad told me my only assignment from now til graduation is to not die. it's a legit concern for him.
i saw the poster for your lost tequila... what a shame
3 for 3 on getting girls who say "yolo" at the bar to have anal. Not the motto I live by, but it has changed my life.
Erry day erry day!
Druken naked yoga : jus another ploy to keep your husbands eye in check
Ummm so I'm at the hospital and just heard some guy get tazed......twice.
I woke up with a bagel in my mouth, still ate it. Free breakfast
My greatest achievement in life thus far is being the go to friend when you have questions about butt plugs.
I don't want to get pregnant doggy style. That's sad.
I'm fucking my way through California and it's kind of fun.
its not even a love triangle. its a love square and it has come back to haunt me
You took nana to a bar?!
she suggested it
So I heard her yell at him and I went downstairs to find he had lit up each one of my smokes and taken just one drag off each and had em lined up on the table. She says he "experiments" when on Ambien.
you tried to drunkinly do the backflip kick off of karate kid and broke the big screen
Randomize
