Thats not how I planned it, its just the way she passed out
listening to techno makes your hand move faster while masterbating
you insisted on breathalizing me with a inhaler.
Life after highschool has not been kind to her. She looked fatter than Luke Wilson's face in those AT&T commercials.
I go to guys houses late at night, have a little fun, come back by dawn having made their life a little bit better. I am the official blow job fairy.
Yes, that was me on the jumbo tron. No, i don't know why i was hiding.
It was scary, we all screamed. Never make mimosas in a car.
He asked if I wanted a dutch rudder. 1.) Who says that? 2.) How exactly does one do that with a girl?
and that my friend is why you dont go in for an eye exam and drop 250 dollars on a pair of glasses after smoking a blunt
He literally named all the parts of the vagina as he fingered me. No more pre-med virgins.
We had a threesome and he gave us bottle rockets and a lamp for our apartment
I smell like bonfire and ex-boyfriends
While we were doing it he looked up at me and said "Does your husband fuck you this good?" Talk about a mood killer....
I’m 95% positive I adopted a bunny last night.
You had cocktails, didn’t you?
Got baked and laid and ate baked lays when I laid down while baking the brownies I I’m Superman
You’re still high, aren’t you?
Oh yeah
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