he promised me brunch in the morning so i felt like it was ok....i really need to get a job.
I just had to have my mom look at my penis to figure out what it was. How do you think my day is going?
normal stoners make pot brownies. gay stoners make pot chocolate covered cherries on a cinnamon graham cracker crust which by the way are very effective.
you threw up in someones recycling bin and left a note apologizing. how drunk do you think you were?!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it felt like the flash was giving me a handjob
I took a picture of his ID so i could remember how to spell his last name and facebook stalk him later...I think he saw me do it
How are YOU going to look? Buying 40's on Christmas eve.
Went to the strip club with my aunt. Do you know how hard it is to be a pervert in front of your female family members?
Yes, he did use his cock to direct traffic from my 3rd story window. That's why I love him
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You were so proud of your stupid "magic trick" but all you did was piss on the couch. don't talk to me for a few days.
Oh I see how it is...you can snap chat the world your balls but I wear dinosaur feetie pajamas and I'm the "weird one"
I told her I was going to masterbate myself into a coma... We have another date on Thursday.
Girl you're stalking so hard you're gonna know both their social security numbers soon
if you go to jail tonight, call call me. i wanna get out of work
It’s easy for me to be professional, the tough part is finding the perfect amount of bitchy undertone
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