Haha I wonder if my burp offended him. So I gave him a fist pump to signify how friendly I am
I could literally track my booty calls if I ever got knocked up by my parking tickets
hey, i'm all for honesty but let's not get carried away
I wasnt going to have sex with him until i ran into his gf at chipotle. It was like the gods were saying "Go ahead. Shes already had her burrito for the day"
No, this is a senior booty call. It cannot be ignored.
I should know better than to trust a man I've seen cry on multiple occasions to give me accurate sports information.
Dude you went around coming up behind people and whispering in their ears. I dont know what you said but they looked terrified when you left.
Yeah man i woke up and only had a Jimmy John's wrapper covering myself..
The cop actually kicked the bitches out of the cab so we could get ours. I flipped them all off as the door was shutting. That drunk.
I mean, that's eating your cake and fucking it too.
My night ended with a French cab driver offering me his sperm free of cost.
I don't think he cares about your inhospitable uterus.
Using my graduation announcement box as a table to roll a blunt on. I've official stopped giving a shit about senior year
Not gonna lie, Wednesday was the perfect day to get laid off, all I've done since is watch the Simpsons marathon
Upstairs definitely just had sex while I wrote you love poetry. That was a fun experience 🤷🏻♀️
I have a number of responses, ranging in content, tone, and maturity. Choose your destiny...
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