But, the reference to being horny and then blending a banana is troubling
once we finished he held up the condom and asked if i wanted to keep it as a souvenir.
oh and he was serious.
i can't find my house
we droppd you off right in front! i even walked you to the steps less then 3 mins ago.
i'm pretty sure my house moved.
Well let's just say that she ended up trying to get it in with the wheelchair guy, who btw, can get an erection and quickly I might add
Puking green right now......... jaimison mcflurry very bad idea
I'm hungover as fuck. My vagina hurts. I locked my keys in my car. It's about 93* outside. We're having sex in the pool when I get home
There was a gay guy in drag passed out against the wall but we had sex in there anyway.
I would watch the shit out of some full house right now.
IT WAS SO BIG. I FORGOT GOD MADE THEM LIKE THIS.
They flooded the bathroom and their version of cleaning it up was to throw our couch cushions on it. That's when I decided to chug tequila and go drunk bowling. So hitting the kid with my ball is really their fault.
you just cant say you love him and then say you want to fuck your boss
I thought he was foreign, but it turns out when you're that drunk, an Ohio accent just sounds Russian.
Tell me why i'm looking through my medical records and the last thing it said about my labor was 'vagina was explored'!?
You're emotionally mature, right? I said you were.
I have at least four things in my line of sight that have Kermit the Frog on them in my dorm. Does that answer your question?
The gate guard just said to me, "I almost didn't recognize you in uniform. Welcome back." I think I need to lay off the booze.
Randomize
