What are we going to do tonight?
What we try to do every night. Take over the world
He has that thing where they hang SUPER low
Ewww!! Elephantitis
and then she said I drew a line on her forehead with my cum and whispered "Simba"
i want to cheat with him just to show his girlfriend what a terrible person he is.
Confirmed. Vegetarians give terrible head.
Wtf. I just got invited to a threeway bj session in the bathroom at boiler. Lmao
I fed him pizza in bed. I'm probably the best one night stand ever.
I have acquired 14 pictures of hard dicks tonight... I was on a mission. Don't even pretend you aren't proud.
I can't let him end my perfect streak. HE USED TO BE FAT
Her husband thinks she's banging me and nothing is going to change his mind so I told her we might as well just bang and make him right
Then she looked me straight in the eyes and asked me if I missed my foreskin. Weirdest conversation ever.
Why make bad decisions when I can watch you?
Ok, not to minimize the significance of that beautiful anecdote from your childhood, but here's a video of my penis.
You’re about to have a sober threesome with a rando at a Fenway bar?
Hypothetical question: Would it be wrong to tell the annoying children who don't listen to their parents that the motel is haunted?
Randomize
