Bc you can definitely buy condoms if ur a 14 year old girl
I no longer want to be the gay that plays in the revolving door at RelationshipDale's like a seven year old with a.d.d.
apparently i was offering everyone ambien and shouting, it's only like heath ledger if you want it to be!
I'm pretty sure you can't just waltz into a walk in clinic and ask them to de-baby you.
God, i just love slightly insecure guys with hearts of gold and giant penises.
I have no idea what happened last night, but you're the only person I remember smashing my face into. Be honored.
He managed to scream "cowabunga bitch" before he went down on me. Let me know if you still like him.
We were thinking he might be gay. Like how the fuck do you not even make out with a girl that made you a grilled cheese
Nothing says I've got my life together like vomiting on the groom and passing out at your youngests sisters wedding
feelin groggy baby? need a coffee? vitamins? a nice good fuck on the piano?
It's cosmic balancing. My vagina is an instrument of karmic retribution.
Don't forget Giraffe in your car! If we show up in the same outfit without animal heads we're just gonna look weird.
Maybe don't sell him so much adderall next time. The other day during finals he was convinced that he could see the "molecules of life in the air" and kept reaching up slowly to grab them.
I cried while dry heaving in the back of the car to the New York song with jay z in it. I was singing it inbetween gags.
So what if is hockey, you don’t turn down sex with a professional athlete. They work out all day and have amazing stamina. Your vagina will thank you!
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