Culvers...So Good
So good. The butter burgers slip right outta my ass.
You up for the gym tonight after work?
I'm up for a light workout and a nice yog.
Fair enough, I'm gonna hit it hard today.
Chris Brown style, or less felonious?
Haha, all felonious.
He famously once noted that women should wear white "like all other domestic appliances,"
Can you put "designated driver" on a resume?
turns out they were just sand fleas, not crabs.. thank you random mexican girl from padre who's name i can't pronounce
she moaned out jack bauer's name while i was banging her...
He sang nursery rhymes to my vagina to get me to have sex with him..
he started drinking at 9am with grey goose and pancakes. He IS my hero.
I swear, if he gets me a bowling ball for Christmas, I will throw it at him.
Tell him I thought his Superman stand on your bed and cum all over your back was quite funny
I think he offered to cook me dinner or cook me for dinner. Not really sure. Just smiled and nodded.
He also told me he would eat mozzarella sticks before having sex with me so I'm mad at him.
I'm turning into an adult here.
Adults touch each other's special zones.
I made him laugh his dick is mine
I'm going to need you to stop harassing my professor on Twitter when you're drunk.
Randomize
