I heard we made out
Words i added to my t9 today: gnomes, facebook, and chlamydia.
Short Circuit remake moving forward, David Carradine dead by his own hand. Come home soon, society deteriorating rapidly. Nation's capitol likely not safe.
i was puking in the toilet, he walked in and to talk to me and started puking in the sink.. Could this be my perfect man??
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So the waitress at the Chinese Buffet totally just said "Adios" to a Hispanic couple. There's something you don't see every day.
The best part was that when I woke up, I poked her with my dick to wake her up, and said, "Hi, I'm Alex. Nice to meet you". Shoulda seen the look on her face. Priceless.
he was sobbing,drinking his beer, all while confessing his love for her. awkward was an understatement...
smoking a bowl while I'm peeing. i love having a big dick.
Well, find something you can use as a snorkel and be aware of your surroundings.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm so eating pot-chocolate cookies while preggers. This kid will be so amazing.
There's a guy in here whose face looks like it would be perfect between my legs.
my balls were so many shades of blue last night I could have used them as paint and replicated the entirety of Picaso's blue period. The girl was an art major I feel like this metaphor is appropriate.
So apparently Facebook just randomly finds the girl who gave me a hard handy despite having no mutual friends...
My mom just asked me about the teeth marks on my headboard..
We are bad people. This is why we are friends. <3
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