If Rob Pattinson gets another fucking MTV award, I'm going to vomit.
I'm fascinated by her cleavage. She has deep cleavage, but no obvious boobage to speak of. Check it out.
It was all fun and games until Tim shit on the end table
did i by any chance text you anything about feathers last night?
you mean faeutihaers?
What happened?....
He lifted up the blanket, and whispered "Don't do it" to his sperm....
When i look at that picture of him, i'm a little proud to be like yeah, his dick was in my mouth saturday no big deal.
you know you made it when your beer pong table is made from imported italian hardwood
yes he's amazing in bed. he made me like, black out. everything went black it was weird. so yes, i'd fuck him again. plus, he has every season of buffy on dvd
I can't be held responsible for my own vagina. Let's just be honest here.
I swallowed for you. Answer the phone.
I doubt she'll sponsor it. You know alcohol and fireworks don't mix, right?
It's okay. We're not going to soak the fireworks in alcohol. The alcohol is for drinking.
just saw a guy snowshoeing to the liqour store
was it you?
...yes
Just learned that the cute guy I've been flirting with at the beach this whole time is actually an inmate working in the community instead of being in prison.. My life is unreal
looked it up online and zoo tickets are only 20 bucks and there's also a museum of science close to the hotel.
i'm not going to a FUCKING museum. i want to be wasted and possibly double penetrated... have you EVER been on vacation?
My law teacher drew an elephant on the board in class. I was so high that I laughed for 5 minutes straight. Nobody else laughed and everyone stared. 130 people knew I was high.
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