I'm calling you out on twitter if you don't come over right now.
I need to go to a fraternity... my boobs are telling me to.
I just found glass in my funny face pancakes, there's nothing funny about that.
He tagged himself in all of my pictures so he would get a notification if someone commented on it.
Restraining orders are what college is about.
I have to collect my sorority sisters from greek row... I hate how being dd is a night and morning job
And by the way, how is me getting head even remotely comparable to you fucking 3 guys?
Using 'equal to a modern day cock block" in term paper, inappropriate
Im only slightly posetive that left over guacamole and wine are unacceptable for breakfast at 6.30 am
I would have thought, as two of my best friends, you girls could have cought me as I fell out of the shower. There are so many bruises.
i'm half naked talking to a cat. you don't have to justify your life to me.
ill give you food and tequilla and penis and joy
currently waiting for her to check in on Facebook, the second she does I'm there. someone is getting laid tonight
I'm not stalking, she is pretty much begging me to come find her if she checks in
Well that's the first time I've woken up with wet jorts
I've literally exhausted all the videos on pornhub. It took like 4 years, but I've done it. I did that quicker than I finished college
There's a possibility I may have hooked up with that British guy...
Possibility? You left the door open! Everyone saw!
Randomize
