I am spending my child support on dildos
Update. It gets worse. A) he's done viagra and B) he wears socks at all times.
Random 1st period thought: do you think she could put "had a threesome" on her resume?
did we hook up?
no, because you kept repeating "itty bitty titties" when i took off my shirt
You had me at "you have a nicer rack then her"
The only reason anyone found out he threw up is because everyone heard it sizzle the bonfire out.
Lol okay. He's gonna show up with like a trunk of sex toys. He's like the mary poppins of hotel fucking.
Sadly, she's the porn star that got away
DONT YOU DARE DIE YET THERE IS SO MUCH SEX TO BE HAD
I completely forgot about the posting of partying pics shortly after adding my gma my dad was like grandma says your all over fb but she doesn't know how to use it. Of course I'm all over her fb. She's got 6 friends I am her newsfeed
these people use weed stems as birthday cake candles. I'm never coming home
I told her to to let go of her rationtal thoughts and just enjoy the fact that i was going down on her till she passed out from sheer orgasmic pleasure.
We drank vodka and koolaid through a traffic cone. It got rowdy.
Fun fact: the guy I banged last night. His middle name on his birth certificate is "Windstorm."
I have a hickey in my new work ID photo.....
Randomize
