So when jo picked me up from the bar I kept apologizing and kept telling her "I'm just a wittle donut"
he said i look beautiful when i cum. i think i'm in love.
He set an alarm on my phone to an infant screaming and puking to make sure i take my pill. its working.
the campus cop used the word depravity in our citation.
Can we have a celebratory fuck now that the lockout is over?
You're the best girlfriend ever.
well I think it'll pretty much be gone by Saturday. On a scale of 1- Snooki's unborn child how much do periods freak you out?
I kind of learned that hotels are unnecessary. Boys will just take you home, but that's tough with a group. I believe in us, though.
Its not college unless your study breaks were to go throw up from blacking out the night before
We'll I told him I wanted to keep it PG last night, but then later I asked him to take his pants off. So i'm guessing it was my fault.
Told my prof I have mono so that he won't judge me when I show up hungover and looking like shit to class every day.
Just skip
Please. i have SOME standards
Came back with a random sweatshirt, an American flag, and a for sale sign. Mission success?
I woke up in a chipotle parking lot with an industrial sized box of condoms and a bag of dounut holes. I need Jesus
think before you get married my friend it's my birthday and just got done jacking off
What I'm doing now is like me taking a bagel, dropping it butter side down, leaving it for six years, picking it back up, and trying to fuck it
I am listening to Jack Johnson and wearing the sweater your Mother made me fuck mother nature I am in my happy place right now
Randomize
