went to sleep on the couch in jeans and socks. woke up in bed totally nude no memory of moving. best farewell party ever
Alcohol only hurts me because he loves me.
I'm not saying he has herpes, I'm just saying he slept with my friend that has herpes.
They're like penises that have been put in a blender.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think it was our ex-neighbor Mike. He leaves Taco Bell outside our door a lot
He'll drop off his extra tacos at our place bc he's super high when he orders & can't eat them all
She has an emergency bra in her purse. I'm gonna check no on the 'introducing her to my new boyfriend' box.
Woke up handcuffed to a half gallon of beam. Yep. This is my life.
I now have a GPA requirement for guys I hookup with more than once.
Waking up to find your mom holding your birth control pills and telling you I suggest you take this
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I no longer believe that the road to self esteem is through his penis.
But in defense of this shit summer we've had, I totally perfected my shotgunning skills. I have achieved my summer goal.
Keywords: shitstorm, police, jail.
Topless Tuesday? One of us will be really happy the other not so much.
His girlfriend left him for the pizza guy. I am not fucking kidding.
You know you've been having sex for 9 months when you do Rock Paper Scissors for who has to go on top
Randomize