How young is too young to ask my kid to make me a drink?
why did i wake up to an event notice that says "Shit Just Got Real"?
Banged a lazy eyed chick last night. It was like fucking an iguana.
well, someone with very low standards is getting their dick sucked
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By the way when you were super fucked up last night, you ate cat food and tried to tell me it was healthy for you
Saw you fall down on Jefferson and a cop drove by and shook his head. How you didnt get arrested after the party you went to on saturday is beyond me.
I had such a pleasant walk of shame. The sun was shining, I smiled at all the high school suckers who judged me on their way to school, and I made friends with an old guy and his dog.
She was touching herself and looking a shoes online. My debt is bad enough without bringing that hot mess into my life.
I feel like despite his sleaziness I could be friends with this man. he just sent me a picture of his dog's balls.
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Fell twice in five points. on my face. literally during a cross walk. The cars just went around me. 21st birthday memories right there
My worst fear almost came to light...I was choking and the cats stared at me like they had no problem eating my face if I died
I stopped hooking up with him and ran to the bathroom to throw up. He saw me throwing up and it made him throw up
Are you ok?
They gave me a cat until I fall asleep. His name is fluffy because he's fluffy.
I only drink at bars with bathrooms big enough to have sex in.
You texted me the words "butt stuff" 53 times in a four hour period last night.
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