Whoa Z and x make the same sound
So i guess my mom went into the kitchen and asked me why i was making mac and cheese at 4 in the morning and apparently i yelled at her to "get the fuck back bitch you don't know my life"
We're upstairs smoking....the password is pineapple
so id say it was a successful trip...i only got hit on by one cousin...
My meds have diminished my sex drive, this must be what regular women feel like
Oh and no more ball pics to my family. Got in a little trouble over that. They have no sense of humor.
Unintentional and slightly frustrating adventures are basically all I'm good for. Expect heart palpitations, cheap food, and homeless men serenading us.
I just talked this guy out of hooking up with me and gave him relationship advice. Am I a good person now?
I was at the pharmacy picking up my herpes medication and the pharmacist asked if I had any questions about my medicine, looked at the bottle, and laughed. Insult to injury man.
So that advice that humming stops you from puking? Yeah no, just puked through my nose.
Really, who hasn't had sex on your bed?
ME.
There is no issue with you seeing me...morally or ethically. we'll update your resume anyway. I really need to have sex with you later. Really
So apparently last night while I was drunk I read him erotic fanfiction while he was eating me out. He stopped every now and then to give me feedback.
yknow last night was like... the third night in a row alex woke me up to make sure i wasn't dead and tbh it's sorta sweet.
Am I the only one who finds it completely appropriate to pre-game our Brazilians?
Randomize
