We were doing it doggy style, and I puked on the floor and started crying, he told me it was okay his cat would eat it... and if it would make me feel better we could do anal...
And they lived happily ever after....
You act like this is the first time i've fingered two 17 year olds at the same time
Ok Ghana you win again. Tell you what...Double or nothing over women's tennis, basketball, hockey, war, baseball, golf, swimming, diving, oil spills, box office proceeds, internet porn sites, criminals incarcerated, women's downhill, bass fishing, NASCAR, or GDP?
she said she was gay. i said prove it. she said "ok i wont fuck you"
He kept singing "who's that peekin in my window" we thought he was high til we realized someone was lookin in the windows.
yep. it's official. for $40 they will let you lick the stripper pole.
I managed to make myself a bowl of apple jacks, took one bite and had to stop eating them because they were making my brain wiggle. How was your comedown?
There's someone howling in the parking lot. Haha.
I got a 5 dollar bill, 1 condom, and no alcohol. I get payed on Thursday. Let's do this shit.
I think it was a low point but honestly at this point I've had so many that my life is like a valley
There's a stripper getting there at 10 though so hopefully I'm out before the stripper gets there. I don't have time to deal with a stripper.
How about this: I support you through your miserable marriage, and you support me through all my anonymous sex?
I lost my pants last night, she told me I walked into their room after leaving 5 minutes before wearing my thong.....and no pants. I have absolutely no idea where I left them.
we're gonna read the declaration of independence and do a shot for every word he doesn't understand.
Clearly the Stanley Cup Finals good luck hand job IS necessary. You let the whole team down.
Randomize
