hipster in red sally jessy raphael glasses inside. kick her.
just had an encounter with drunk people from out of state at dairy queen. they wanted to stay till march to see the high school play.
i'm at the st pattys day thing. the bar is packed. they just put on celine dion its all coming back to me now. i'm screaming the words.
it's 1 pm.
If I come back covered in mud topless and banging on your door, please have a warm towel ready for me
I can't do a walk of shame with a sombrero full of baby chickens
I don't care if we have to swim home from the bar, Im not gonna sit home in the dark and read some fucking book
I rolled out of the car, crawled on all fours to the door, did somersaults all the way to my room, and then I ran across the parking lot to tell our neighbor you wanted to bang him. I'm not even sure if it was the right guy.
Halfway through lecture, some kid in the front row threw up IN his hands. Professor held the door for him to carry it out.
We lost power at midnight which freaked out my roomate and friends. The power came back on 30 minutes later. We are now at the bar having "the rapture came and we were left behind" shots
Found an old burrito under my bed
You are a sick fuck
I just stole a bunch of balloons from a birthday party and am giving one to each person at the bar.
Haha never eat brownies from a guy with batman pajamas
She's takin more dicks this month than I have in my life by the sounds of it
They left me at home... I'm a liability
I swear I only fuck him for the huge bottle of smart water he gives me afterwards.
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