My mom just got knocked over by a rollerblader. I'm trying not to laugh, bc my family looks pretty concerned
So how gross is it that Woopie Goldberg has a vagina? She's like the exact opposite of a boner....
Clothes are such an inconvenience.
Hey everyone. This evenings celebration will commence with a cocktail hour at genghis at 830 to be followed with an upscale dining experience at taco bell at 10. All are welcome. This is not a joke. Thank you
TINY HANDS NOT FOR BUTTHOLES
This is going everywhere on the internet.
2000 dollars has been put in for bail money. Also we're signing contracts
I knew you were blacked out when you started refusing beer.
arnt you supposed to become a mature adult when you move out of your parents house?
Moving out doesnt mean I'm mature, it means I can make pancakes and bacon at 3 in the morning and no one can judge me.
she's a nursing student, i didn't think vomit would freak her out so much
you puked ON HER
No no no he wouldn't talk to me before I showed his best friend how good I am at twerking
Sneezing cum all over the table was not the highlight of the family reunion if that tells you anything
Why can't you just be normal and get dick pics from your exes like everyone else?
I woke up to a bum peeing outside my window, and he said, "This is embarrassing for you."
I just told my mormon professor that I was late because I was getting a STD test... good start to the day.
Get over here and bring your drill!!! The strippers next door need help installing a stripper pole by their pool
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