My booty call said shes done doing the walk of shame. Wtf is that?
It's what anyone that sleeps with you, specifically, does when they leave. Some do it even when they just think of you.
She asked the class if starwars was based on a true story...
I was about to watch some really classy porn. Title was ravenous for dick. I didnt know pornstars knew ravenous was a word.
my bedside table was not meant to hold this many beer bottles.
I may have been hammered and in a wheelchair but I definitely remember asking the hospital reseptionist to marry me
I wonder if she thought to herself "I'm gonna sleep with that guy tonight" when she watched me puke on the bar at 3 in the afternoon?
We are not turning the camelbak into a beer bong
The girls we hooked up with were hammered, pushing each other in a shopping cart into the sushi place and through the restaurant... One's a volunteer EMT. God help her patients.
I just want to have weird supply closet sex with him... and then I'll be all set. Fired, but all set.
Getting stoned at work has never been a good idea, but im always more than willing to give it another chance
He said it. He actually said "yes it's in".
this night may include but is not limited to : police encounters, wild animals, stomach pumping, and waking up in a field
I just sneeze out a chunk of leftover pickle I threw up last night. dont you try and tell me your day is going worse
I ate 2 pot cookies before we left the house. Fuck Pokemon. I'm playing my own game.
I asked what it takes to be a good delivery driver, my new boss said "always keep these in your vehicle" as he handed me a flashlight and a blunt. I'm going to like this job.
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