I need a leather bustier to keep them in.
Too kinky for 11:30am. Stop that.
As soon as I saw the video camera and red light on, I started rolling my eyes when he would put it in me and telling him maybe his dick was too small cause I didn't feel anything...trust me that tape is going nowhere
he designed a suit out of pillows to protect himself when he fell.
engineering majors are such efficient drunks.
How's work?
Spinning.
Nyquil jello-shots aiding in health and happiness
Judging by the hole in the wall by the door, the mis-matched shoes by the door, and the door hanging off one hinge... i'd say he's on the loose.
It's like my ice maker knows when I wanna get drunk
I just had a boat ride of shame. With Senior Citizens.
I'm gonna go out on a limb and say it had something to do with pool sex.
She is watching her grandpa for the day and the dude just whipped it out and started jerking off while watching the View.
Also bring a pizza or no entry to my vagina OR the fort.
Cheese only
Tell him "come over but don't bring a flaccid dick"
Wear something tight
Hey sorry about last night. can I come pick up my tooth?
Our friendship just got weirder. He snapchated me the porn he was watching.
Hi I'm on my way to give you multiple screaming orgasms and Easter candy
Randomize
