The girl behind me at the dollar store said couldn't wait to get her permit, then requested a pregnancy test. God I love being home.
thats the mark of a good guy. when you can period all over his leg and he still thinks you're beautiful!
If a man's penis is referred to as "the family jewels" does that make a woman's vagina a jewelry box?
i tried slipping money on her dresser whenever she brings guys home hoping she'll start to question her goals in life... i think its only encouraging her
Who's got a bloodstream full of margaritas by 2pm? Not you, that's for sure, because you've got one of those "real" jobs.
I will always remember today as the day I narrowly escaped having to touch a tiny penis
This is the high leading the old right now
I think the last straw was when you put on ice skates to go across the waxed wooden floor.
The only people in the library at 5:00 on the friday after finals are homeless or pre-med.
My uterus is doing all sorts of karate moves to break free of my body.
So, anyways, aside from wanting to seduce my roommate for booze, how's everything been
So you thought it was a good idea to make plans for the same time same place with the guy you were sort of dating AND his best friend you slept with?
It's a lot harder to work after sex than it is to work drunk... just saying.
I was trying to sext but got a notification that my dad and professor both commented on my Facebook photo. Bad timing.
Im about to get an ultrasound of my balls. I hate waiting. Its the worst.
Randomize
