i love my job...i have craft hour at my desk w twizzlers
can u grab me a application
we decided it was best to cut you off after we caught you trying to "baptize" my cat in the jungle juice
He kept telling me how extraordinarily clean my ears were.
They seemed upset when they walked out and saw a penis in a mouth
He stood up, threw the bag of bud between me and Tory, yelled "Fight" and then ran upstairs for the pizza
VAGINAS ASSEMBLE!
I'm not seeing this movie with you.
I didn't pay for a single drink 'help me I'm poor' was my drink pickup line. it totally worked.
Why is it that when I sustain a serious injury people are more concerned with my level of inebriation than my personal safety?
Done deal I'm dying it right at this moment. I'll need a red Speedo and a half shirt that is extremely tight. Like nipple tight.
Sexting across continents is really a perfect example of how far technology has come.
So that prostitue I banged at Steve's bachelor party just texted and invited me to a BBQ at her parents. Never again doubt the power of the cock piercing.
Can someone please remind me later tonight that there's a taco in my purse. I may get drunk and forget I put it there
He showed up to my apt at 6am wearing a suit and holding a bag of coke....how could I not let him in?
I mean, if I asked you, would you cum on cotton candy for me?
Ever try to swallow something and have it go up into your nose instead? Yeah, I just sneezed bacon.
Randomize
