is it odd that your cat looks tougher than you?
She is totes cute on her twitter. Which totally sounds like a euphemism for coot.
yeah, we don't understand. the wings losing for guys is like girls finding objects in their body..just weird and sad
why the FUCK would i wear makeup on my vagina!?
and that's why he's hiding in the taco suit
Seriously, I was a high class hooker. I was snorting shit Rachel, white powder, lines formed with credit cards, the dudes house was beautiful. Magnum condom. Adorable puppy dog. Pretty sure at some point I was sleeping on a washing machine. Boxing Gloves.
Those were the highlights of my night.
Every man needs a table where they can sit and reflect on the successful penile conquests of the day.
Balls deep in an Orange is the New Black marathon. Bring food and drugs.
I now have a other guy willing to drive 3 hours for my vagina. At my next gyno appointment I'm asking her if there's cocaine in there.
I might attempt to pee into a cup while driving. I'll let you know how it goes.
So I sent him a snap of me half naked holding a pie last night.
if it wasn’t 100% before, it is now that i will most definitely die a quesadilla related death
Not entirely sure how I got drunk off 2 mimosas but here I am
For full disclosure: I told my roommates last night that you have a very clean asshole.
I know she’s pissed I fucked her husband, but I didn’t know he was married until after I blew him at Legoland
Randomize
