Whatever. They have the same name, so it's not even cheating. It's brand loyalty.
Did you dl zombie porn on my computer?
i just looked at my contacts and realized i saved the pizza hut girl's number as "fckucin pizza" the other night.
Got laid at the last second. Facebook chat is good for something afterall.
i woke up, turned over, and noticed an assortment of knives stuck in my wall. i should prob stop drinking
How many of my tattoos need to be visible for an outfit to be considered "see-through"?
This is a sacred holiday in the land of the free! I do what I want!
She wants to go furniture shopping for memorial day so we've gotta go portable
thermos full of jaeger bombs?
Affirmative
This girl is wasted dancing to The Final Countdown. She's grinding on a guy who came to the bar in a track jacket and a wife beater
You've never really lived until you tell someone you have an STD over snap chat.
Pretty sure when I woke up the next morning we were still fucking. It just didn't stop.
I just twinged a muscle in my shoulder trying to hug myself. In the world of loneliness-based injuries, this is a new low for me.
With my son watching me, I pulled down my pants and shit in her trash can.
The closest thing I've had to an orgasm lately is sneezing nonstop from fucking allergies.
Hey I had a great night last night but I don't want to lie to you I'm only 19 and that wasn't my place its was my cousin he's gone for the summer and I was just house sitting and watching his cat I'm sorry
Randomize
