So how come you never look me in the eyes anymore when we make love?
Rescue me. My white trash great uncle just pulled out his belly at the restaurant to show us how big this woman's tit was
I just came up with the perfect plan. Once i'm a dentist i'm going to offer dad a million dollars to divorce mom.
today i learned why jack sparrow loved rum so fucking much
yes we did fuck in his chapter room. yes it was demeaning. and yes, they probably will discuss it at chapter tonight.
Last night, I accomplished the impossible. I pissed while riding my bicycle home without pissing all over myself. My Dutch friends gave me a round of applause and said I was now the king of holland.
I'm ultimately at thr Shariton to drink and ppssibly puke on fancy shit. Thats my story and Im sticking to it.
No, this is a senior booty call. It cannot be ignored.
Ok how about tonight me and you get laid together. Same girl. Then she signs our dicks.
As weird as it sounds I would totally be down
It's volleyball. Just do it. You want to look sporty. Save sexy librarian for another day.
I realized it was late, and he was my brother in humanity and another incarnation of my own life force and consciousness, so I regained control of myself, thanked him for helping me, and went home.
He showed up on school grounds wearing nothing but a suit of armor. Really at this point I'm more impressed than angry.
I'm going to blow a ton of money on sex toys just so I can tell you to do better than them.
I can’t tonight. I’ve got to see about a penis
Drinking is such a hassle. I wish I could just press a button and be drunk.
Randomize
