Is there a reason "Call me when you're legal" is written on my arm? I'm 22..
I would have at least made out with you if you were showered.
when my dick couldnt get hard she said "fly on little wing"
Why dose there have to be another girl there for you to do this?
its hotter. Way hotter.
theyre just this beautiful family of functioning alcoholics. i want them to adopt me.
I think the world might be a better place if everyone was capable of having open relationships.
I'm drunk in class and I'm pretty sure the bible freak behind me is saying a prayer for me
I've decided I'm just gonna keep drinking til the baby bump shows...
So recap time do u remember biting that girls hand?
Please just fuck her. She's new to LA and doesn't know anyone nice.
Stop saying "make it happen". I'm not gonna say "hey, you should get naked with your sister and roll around together while I penetrate you both"
Yes. Do not say that. That will not make it happen.
Still. Make it happen
Pretty sure when I woke up the next morning we were still fucking. It just didn't stop.
He kept spinning my wedding ring like thanks buddy I remember
I dont need your sympathy!!!! Just a fifth of vodka and gummy bears...lots and lots of gummy bears to take my agression out on.
Can I borrow your pants?
WTH?
Just come to the men’s room and help me. The blonde bartender figured out I’m married. Rachel will definitely notice if come home pantsless
Randomize
