Every time we go downtown I ask myself why we live in Des Moines
I wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commercials.
Those balls look pretty dangerous.
I cut holes in my blanket and put my arms through it. It's the sleeveless "Bro Edition" Snuggie.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
her tits were misleading. turns out she wasn't cool, smart and funny
don't worry about the poodle she's always like that. she's like 14 years old and ate a bag of weed when she was a puppy.
we need 14,000 post its to execute this plan
I love drunk self when he leaves a prepacked bong for the morning... in the bathroom.
September 16th, captains log. I awoke in a daze, not sure of my location
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We almost died tonight..we almost die every night. but tonight was the closest by far
My day may involve a drug pinata. I LOVE MY LIFE.
I should put together a new mom basket for her. It would have diapers, vodka, ambien, and tissues for when she cries about her wasted youth.
Seriously I am not buying you condoms anymore. You're 22, if you aren't woman enough to buy them yourself then you don't deserve orgasms. Grow some tits.
If all that ever happens between us is orgasms and dank memes, I think I'd be okay with that.
I turn 40 next week. I deserve to celebrate the end of my 30’s with a 21 year old dick
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