can you come get me and bring me shorts and a shirt
maybe shoes and water too
oh and maybe a noose to hang myself
ed mcmahon, farrah fawcett, and michael jackson all in one week. What next god, are you juts gonna take my penis too?
He still wants to giggity, regardless of his girlfriend. So...I guess I'm happy again.
Ask me how many people I've slept with. Because its changed since I last saw you.
I saw you 20 MINUTES AGO. You need to stop this.
If i could bang her from 80ft away, I would
just looked at his mug shot... not really my type
I'm terrified to sleep next to her. Of course the sex will be fuckng awesome.
What would you say if I got first degree burns on my nipples from drinking coffee topless?
Buying weed with grant money. God I love college. No other time are we presented with these opportunities.
i sent you a picture of beads you send me a picture of boobs how hard is this to understand
You're gonna judge me.
Howd you sleep with him already
I just told a squirrel he was gonna suffocate because he was eating a plastic bag. and i stared at him till he spit it out. Its official, I love squirrels more than people. they actually listen.
You were face down in the punch bowl, humming the theme to jaws
That explains the stains on my shirt
all i've had to eat today is leftover bday cake and a shot of tequila.
welcome to college.
I am sweating Crown. It all went wrong when the ratio hit 50-50
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