Awkward is getting caught beating off in the company bathroom...
yea i came on her face and told her to bring a snorkel next time
You did not just nickname me "Nipples".
so i hit rock bottom, god threw me a shovel. i continued to dig.
Her facebook status is 'PERCS ON DECKKK~' which is probably why she still lives with her parents.
I ended up taking shots of whiskey and chasing them with potato wedges, I have never felt more Irish
Please don't drown this weekend. It would be a shame to lose a dick like yours.
You stuck your entire fist into a full jar of peanut butter and starting assaulting people
I'd like to bring you 40 virgins and treasure chests of gold to make you feel better
Why do i feel like Captain Hook just gave me a pap smear?
I like that you're Jewish, because you can rail me on Christmas Eve and it won't be weird.
I thought my ass was sore from the gym then I realized it was from being spanked. Confusing time in my life.
He left a full handprint on my ass. He called it a "five-star review."
I’m doing some soul searching to figure out how much of a slut I’m going to be the rest of the summer.
You should probably come home from vacation now. I make badddd decisions when you're gone.
Randomize
