Question: terrible or awesome when a girl give you head so vigorously that you get a hickey of sorts
I just caught my mom fingering herself in the bathroom...Im moving out.
went to the bathroom to piss, saw puke in the toilet thought wtf i dont remember puking, then turned around to find a chick i've never seen before passed out in my shower.
whenever I think of his sister, I just picture a chick with a huge beard
I was just "that girl you seen blowing some dude outside when you drove by"
i feel like i am carryihg a baby. a baby made of alcohol.
Found half of a five day old piece of pizza behind my dresser. Apparently it was drunkenly set there and got knocked down. It was such a happy reminder of last weekend.
I found a cheeseburger next to my tub once. It's there to shame you, but it always just makes me feel more awesome.
I may or may not go. send a pic of a nipple so I know how much fun you're having
No gay bar. My eyemake up looks like sex and Im using these dick daggers of mine tonight.
If I wasn't stoned and knee deep in cheese and crackers I'd help.
Successfully defrauded the county government. What have you done today?
If I stopped drinking I'd have to take up murdering.
Every time we have sex, I feel his dick ramming my soul into submission. Problem is..... I LIKE THAT SHIT!
Don't come up here. Strippers r crying.
I'm about to do something based solely on the fact that a fortune cookie told me to. This may not end well.
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