Awww my brother is growing up soo fast!! He just gave me the, "I know you're high but I won't tell mom n dad" look!
Please tell me you saw the asian lady with the medical mask on cutting her lawn with scissors.
He graduated with honors. I've seen him kneeboard on dry ground and run a razor scooter into a wall...anyone can graduate with honors
I guess the study abroad went badly, I gave him a joint and he just smoked it and cried all the way from the airport
I know this is really fun but I don't wanna glow anymore
This girl just texted me asking me to drop her cheese. What the fuck for that mean?
She's cute. And her snoring noises remind me of the incidental music from Jaws.
I just got breakfast in bed and he went down on me. And you though he was a bad idea. Shame
Great sex, the promise of us mixing our excellent genetics in the future, and access to drugs are mainly what's holding this relationship together at the moment
It was technically 11... But I go by McDonald's time, if they aren't servin breakfast, it's the afternoon. Therefore I can drink
Do you know how hard it is to be while you're high with a chuck Norris poster in the bathroom?
I think the worst part about being a real adult is 1)having a high stress job that makes me want to get stoned 2)paying for reefer using my own money 3)realizing my boyfriends children probably have more weed connections than I do anymore
Definitely had a dick in my ass while watching the Seahawks win. Best NFC Championship game ever.
You haven't lived until you have fucked while Fantasia is on
I'm being hhit on by creepy guys please come one bought me a penis hat balloon animal save meeeee
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