"Morning after" poops are always like, interesting.
I wish my grandma would stop using the phrase "he pulled out" when she's talking about her contractor quitting his job.
My Vagina smells like Nemo again.
Im a photoshop master, i successfully reduced the size of the pupils of all the girls I made out last night with to prove they were not that drunk. So glad the camera goes home with me.
I dont want to tell you. Lets just say that a lot of things are reminding me of your dick right now
some guy just walked by in the street and for 5 seconds yelled "IMM SOOOO HORNYYYYYY!!!!"
he was drinking cheap vodka with warm tap water and a packet of crystal light. if that's not an alcoholic then idk what is
Remember when you tried to pay that stripper to cry on stage?
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when i get back.
Her life is filled with shit luck. Its like mother nature is having her period and just taking it out on her specifically.
i dont remember how or why, but i now have 3 coupons for a free BJ from Anise stapled to my right arm.
BECAUSE THIS IS AMERICA AND DONUTS AND TITTIES AND ALCOHOL IS WHAT THIS COUNTRY WAS FOUNDED ON
You were asking her how her mother would feel if y'all dated, etc. And I was yelling at you your girlfriends name over and over again in between gags and sobs.
There is always the bar, but 2 30 on a Tuesday just screams alcoholism
You what they say. One dick in the hand is better than two in the bush
Randomize
