I feel like i made up for not being able to drink on St Pattys Day, Mardi Gras, and last years Cinco De Mayo. That hungover.
some people wear their heart on their sleeve but you just wear your vagina on your face.
I know i should have focused more on what you were saying in the text rather than the fact you spelt "suicidal" wrong
I vomited in the sink and my bra was in there...I don't even have words to describe this hangover confusion
mid-sex i was thinking.. these are not the right balls slapping me
Taking shots out of pine wood derby trophiesssssss. best idea ever.
Yeah I mean its Vermont, not like id be the first guy to trade pharmaceutical services for beer
Lets have the type of night where its 5am and one of us has definitely punched someone who has been on a Disney Channel show.
So I totally just used margarita salt for a body scrub.
Well i would have gone to the bar but Satan decided to hold his rituals in my uterus.
Hahahaha yep. You were picking up the credit card machine and singing to it in Spanish.
I'm tripping pretty hard right now but every time a Volvo drives by I feel like everything is gonna be alright
What happened last night? All I know is that I walked into class this morning and everyone was chanting my name.
Is it a bad thing when vodka doesn't taste like vodka anymore?
You kept apologizing to your car for talking behind its back
Randomize
