what kind of morning-after breakfast implies 'thanks for the sex, but i'm not gonna call you ever again'?
You can't date a girl from every country.
I'm the captain planet of women
My mom make sausages for dinner...and all I could think of was your dog's penis..
I was gonna make fun of her but that plan kinda stopped once she put my dick in her mouth
her sex was completely horrible but her weed was great. imma ask her out again
Well technically because of daylight savings, I only lasted 15 mintues.
She stumbled in with some guy, woke me up, introduced him and said "This is my sister. She's a freshman. She probably hates you."
I give him a gold star every time I orgasm. His room looks like he's freaking King Midas.
Jesus Christ that hit just spoke to so many levels of my soul. It's caressing them softly
Sloppy and selfish. Your 27 and you don't know where my clit is? BYEEE
I just connected with one of your drug dealers on LinkedIn.
Amnesty Wednesday? I'm free to do dirty things to you and you can't laugh or judge?
I'm glad you found someone that both loves you and is cool doing coke off your tits. Proud of you.
What is it about fresh air and wanting to talk about penises
You know you're out of shape when you're sore after masturbating.
Randomize
