Lauren will drop me off I'll be drunk ride you for a little bit and then you can go to sleep
sorry. that wasn't for you
She gave me a foot massage with her tongue. I think we're both scarred for life.
the threesome consisted of him fingering dana while i laid next to them watching how i met your mother.
Just charged fat mistake $3 for a beer.
Just had a thought: were the sirens on when we were in the ambulance?
Well im sitting on a futon on a porch at 1:30 in the afternoon drinking boxed wine out of a pint glass next to a chick with a homemade neckbrace. What do you think?
I think its pretty common. 1 out of every 4 people probably have a stripper's phone # in their phone.
Strike three, the fat brides maid they call shit puker also has herpes.
I have managed to reach the 'after meth poster look' before lunch here...
Btw. U, me, male strippers, beer. Gonna happen. We could totally get TNT from like u know TNT places
Sending dick pics while driving a car going 80 in the rain at night to a married woman? Why hello 2014
WE'RE NOT MAKING A DICK PIZZA OKAY
I can insert a female catheter, but I cannot grill a cheese.
part of it says your brother mayyyy have put his lips on my vagina
Okay, but that still doesn't explain all the glitter in my puke.
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