just saw my sister at the strip club... dont think she's "taking a night class over the summer"
I think my mom's writing a book called how to fuck with your kids when you know they're high
I can't, I'm busy. I've been walking around Tokyo on google maps for an hour.
The bathroom is trashed. Someone took down all the rings of the shower curtain and Scott threw up on the curtain liner. All the soap and shampoo is in the guest bedroom and the lightbulbs are in a drawer. And there are vom footprints.
The djing cat is back again. I think he just makes appearances when im shit drunk just to fuck with my mind.
Someone just asked if you were the one who rode around the bar on some girls back
she gave me a blowjob during our lunchbreak and expected me not to tell people
I'll still trying to understand the context of your "punch her with my cock" comment.
I feel like somebody took my brain out. Stomped on it with cleats. And then put it back together with a glue stick. Thank you.
He wants a "vagina fling" before he commits to dick for life. I'm gonna allow it.
Um...celebrating is an understatement. You flashed the guy at the mexican restaurant and then screamed, "It's just my bikini, I swear!"
I drove two hours just to throw up on myself today at the beach. My family saw the whole thing and my younger cousin cried
You -do- realize there are other things to talk about than just how different parts of you smell like pussy, right?
Bruh, I wanna absorb into the deck.
I wanna become a plank.
God I love xanex.
Drunk twilight is the only twilight
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