my penis says it needs to be in something. my phonebook says its you
You NEED to get fingered by a violinist. He used his left hand and make me cum, he's RIGHT handed.
Blood drive hookups: you will probably faint during the sex, but at least you know neither of you has AIDS
Fuck. That. I'm gonna get drunker and make them regret they EVER put me at the kids table. I'm a MAN.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you were sleeping on the floor, then you woke up and told me you were not comfy enough. You took the carpet in the bathroom put it in the bath and you slept there.
he proceeded to grab my vagina through my leggings in the middle of the dance floor. strangely enough I was okay with it
We're smoking a joint the size of the average penis right now. I may not survive.
Plus you know he's just 2 semesters and 4 glasses of wine away from "experimenting" with some French major
I will be naked everywhere
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I wasn't an ass in college so much more like I showed my ass a lot especially during serious beerpong games. You know I don't fuck around when it comes to sports.
So you're mad that you saw a penis at a swinger's party? That's rational
So that prostitue I banged at Steve's bachelor party just texted and invited me to a BBQ at her parents. Never again doubt the power of the cock piercing.
At dinner her sister yelled "he fucked me AND mom!! Up your standards hoe!!" Safe to say I ruined that family
Hiking for a first date sounded like a good idea in theory because there was absolutely no possibility of me blacking out. In practice, I'd rather black out than go through what I just went through.
In California. Through an entire game + OT. That’s a long time to have an octopus in your pants.
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