I think I kinda wanna bone that ginger from Harry Potter.
You literally just made my flesh crawl.
two drunk chicks are talking to me about reinacting 2girls1cup
ill bring the camera dont start without me
you did pass out in the elevator last night, so it could be motion sickness
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
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please stop judging me for buying a handle of soco on a thursday at 10am. it was on sale, i'm thinking of my future.
Went to 3 separate liquor stores today and I just made a huge tray of jello shots. This will be the Thanksgiving that puts all the others to shame.
I borrowed a glass of wine. And the bottle. Your cat said it was ok
It'd probably just be a lot of profanity and hyperventilation and deteriorating into tears anyways
so just a regular conversation then
your girlfriend showed us your homemade porn last night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The highlight of the night was definitely when you starting telling ppl you could shapeshift and "proved" that by stripping.
Ah, Christ. I just saw a D lister I made out with once on a Rock Of Love rerun. Why are you asleep right now? Some weird shit is happening.
His boxer smelled like clean laundry while I was giving him head. It was delightful, like sucking a dick in a spring meadow.
I already popped my bottle of Rose and took my boxers off. No can do muchacho
I love you, but seriously, that was way too long a thesis on an Arby’s curly fry being wrapped around schlong!
Walked off the dance floor to find Gabe hitting on a dad bod at the bar. It was my Dad. Awkward is an understatement.
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