you know you're not getting laid when you start breaking awkward silences with quotes from Robot Chicken
We'll make it into fun. If I can make wii bowling into a drinking game, I can make studying spanish into a sex game.
i just learned how to squirt via google. life is good.
So I've been to the library twice so far. Both times were for the atm, and once I was stoned. Junior year is going great.
He is to the point where he forgot I was in the front seat of his car while he was taking me home...that stoned
I may only be a second year med student but I feel very confident in calling that a micropenis.
It's great having no responsibilities. In normal life I would be freaking the fuck out right about now. But the only worry I have from last night is where i got this shower caddy full of cookies. God I love college.
It's great when the cashier at the liquor store asks "weren't you wearing those clothes yesterday"
Well am going to a strip club before sun down, I dont think anything good can come from that.
My heart stopped for a sec, but I snorted what I believe was cocaine off the floor, and I'm back in the fight
And tan into my neighbor in the elevator. She was going to the gym. I was covered in mascara and dog hair eating a hash brown
Are we DOING anything for lunch...if sex is involved, let's just be straight forward and stop wasting the first half hour! We just need to get to the point
I have to sleep with him. We're too much alike. It's like clash of the titans, except instead of clashing, he's putting it in me.
She deleted me on Facebook. I think it's safe to say that she knows I fucked him now.
I want you to defile me in my childhood bed.
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