I hate u. Im listening to lady gaga and all i can hear is boca base om om om ommmm
But i did once see a show where a women was homeless and installed a stove in a school bus so she and her baby could live there since all the seats were taken out. As far as being homeless goes it didn't look half bad...So this is me promising to you that if i ever am living in an abandoned school bus...i will at least pimp it out with a stove so you can come over for dinner sometimes
He chugged from a bottle of wine and then we had pretend sex
How do you have pretend sex?
It was bad...so it was pretend
Nah, lets use your guy, my drug dealer is going all pineapple express on me
remind me to tell you what i found stuck to me this morning
if i were reduced to my simplest elements, i would be jizz and glitter.
she kept checking the clock when she was giving me head and at midnight she said she had to stop because she cant eat meat on fridays is that bitch serious
So let me get this straight. You would sleep with an uncircumcised guy whose name you didn't know, but you won't try the new shrimp taco from taco bell?
Plus apparently whenever one of her friends loses their virginity they get a party with a funfetti cake which I found funny
So I'm dropping a fat deuce at work, and the lock on the stall door slips and the door slides open, when suddenly someone comes in. Now I have two options, I can either get up quickly and try to shut the door quickly (not easy to do with one hand) or I can just sit there and play it off like it's no big deal and I always dump at work with the door open. I chose option two, and it was as awkward as it sounds.
I just watched two grown men tickle-fight. Just glorious. No words.
I better not get a vid of you penile helicoptering
Hook ups at LEGOLAND don't count right?
Are we playing inappropriate sexual encounters bingo?
He tried to buy me a drink at dollar beer night. All 3 of his credit cards were declined, so he asked me if I could cover it. Needless to say, I'm not calling him back.
He bought me a bottle of Malibu. I think I could love this guy.
I've loved people for a lot less.
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