"you've got the devil in yuh. the curse of Jesus is coming on your sex soon." That's what a homeless guy just told me.
She kept screaming "yeah! You pick up my books!" the whole time. . .
I have a deodorant stick dedicated to my balls.
i was having this nice romantic moment with my girlfriend. then jimmy came in and peed on the fridge
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i'm in workout clothes. this is progress.
Apparently we had sex last night, and then I made him drive me to the beach so I could puke in the ocean.
I left you pizza on the porch. I didn't want to wake you, if you were passed out on the bathroom floor again. Sorry if it's cold.
Someone just took a shot from my crotch. I should not have to drive home
370HSSV 0773H read that upside down
what are you doing with your life
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We convinced the Dj to let us play musical chairs...... I won by the way.
I smoked out of two pipes at the same time while my friends wielded the lighters last night. It felt like I graduated to the next level of stoner.
All I'm saying is this is the exact reason I should not be left unsupervised.
So...I maybe walked across campus last night with my life size Joe Biden cut out.
i just watched a 27 minute video about owls...that high.
I should have robbed the cradle years ago. Turns out 21 year old boys can cum and still fuck me silly a minute later. My vagina feels like it just won a car from Oprah!
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