u know ur drinking tonight lol i dont know why you try to deny it
but i dont wanna get emotional and drunk text
then give me ur phone
NEVER!!
I just spent an unhealthy amount of money overnighting a full adult sized Trix Rabbit Halloween costume
I just saw the host of Singled Out do standup. Holy shit 1995.
When we woke up, I asked if we could play "what does your name rhyme with".....he said 'bave' thank god it was easy
I want to spend time with you, and by time, I mean real time. Not your dick in my mouth time.
im so sorry the vomit froze your passenger door shut... you should have stopped.
security doesn't like it when we pee on cars. or maybe just not theirs?
At beerfest, hammered, going to try to not get naked in public but i cant make any promises
Ye. Looking like it's about to be one of those mythical responsible weekends
I'm never waking up next to someone after sex again. It's alllll downhill from there.
We haven't even eaten dinner yet and she's already been asked to "take it down a notch" by the groom's mom.
Please come over, I'm slowly melting into a ball of sexual frustration. If I'm not dead by the end of the day be very surprised.
apparently when a guy says "if there's anything missing in your life, I will provide" he's not expecting attractive lesbians to be the answer.
sex on a roof was cool and all but that superhero argument was the best part of the night hands down
Don't do tequila. The Devil himself spits into shot glasses and we call it tequila. You will do bad things.
Randomize
