I may or may not have started my period at the bar. Good thing I have dark jeans on.
the more pounds shes got the more points. bonus points awarded for specialty moves used. aka broken cowboy, tobogan, dutch oven, or brazilian fake out.
Rub youre cunt and tell me you love me.
Your incorrect use of you're doesn't arouse me in the slightest.
A good Q tip ear swabbing is better than bad sex.
They've started ranking girls from "paper-bag" to "I just came." Please come get me
all but 2 of were put on probation for disorderly conduct. i know, visiting a hospital when your drunk is really stupid but it seemed like such a good idea at the time
swear to god, "it seemed like a good idea at the time" is gonna be on your epitaph
If u were an xman, what would ur power be? I would shoot lasers from my boobs.
I can't believe they didnt cut us off after we all hugged each other and started singing "were the 3 best friends that anybody could have" RIGHT IN FRONT of the bar and bartender...
Sometimes I love sober logical me. She makes rare appearances but when she does she shines.
You're putting the star player on the bench. You dont put Michael Jordan on the bench.
Are you referring to my vagina as Michael Jordan?
idk man, i just want to be a bad influence for future generations
I can't. I drank 10 years off my life last night. I need to reevaluate. Sorry.
I heard moaning and ass slapping and sponge bob.
We're fucking and Lee Greenwood God Bless the USA comes on and he came. It was the most Roll Tide America moment of my life.
I just drunkenly signed my mortgage application...
Is this how the global financial crisis happened?
Randomize
