The vibrating part of my dildo broke, now I have to rely on gyration.
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this should be fun to decipher. I'd like to buy a vowel.
He has some good qualities. Beneath the layers of asshole and fat.
Miss Michigan hasn't even been Miss USA for 24hrs and already stripper pole pics are surfacing. Classy.
When she gives birth, I'm so playing 'Eye of the Tiger'
just left a line of flour and citric acid on the dresser for my roommate to find. teach that bastard to steal my coke!
I wish we could tell the moving van to wait at the strip club for a while.
My TA just came over to give us drugs. Now he's drinking grey goose with my roommate and explaining his thesis to her. This is too much.
I have Retrograde Ejaculation as a side effect from one of my meds. Is this a respectable form of birth control?
Three people drank on "never have I had sex in a tractor." Iowa at its best?
We were messing around at his place it was going fine until he said, "I'm going to cum, hand me the shot glass"
We celebrated International Women's Day by spending $700 and taking our tops off at the strip club
The boys offered to pay but we went halfs because we're feminists
I lost half a toenail and didn't realize it. Bloody shoe shoulda been a clue.
It started with a wedding, followed by a drag show, and ended with Trevor getting punched in the face by the bouncer. How was your weekend?
I've got to stop fucking tourists. If Chicagos piazza is anything like their dicks. I'm moving.
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