i get turned down more than a collar. where are the desperate bitches i need to crawl to them
Just cleaned up my puke with my lecture notes.
you made a powerpoint titled 'things i've drank tonight' and emailed it to me.
I just had a flashback to last nights party, I'm pretty sure I told most of the people there that I post a masturbation schedule for an iCal download.
Just got a lapdance on the metro. She said she was on maternity leave and needed the practice.
he drunkenly pissed himself on the deck, in the bathroom, and on my couch within the span of an hour
its like an avodart commercial...maybe he has a growing problem
One reason I don't come to Portland. I saw 8 guys I have had sex with last night. At the same party.
By 8 I mean 9.
And by 9 I mean 10.
The only downside so far to having a guy roommate is that when he's doing a walmart run, I just can't bring myself to ask him to pick up a pregnancy test for me. I feel like that's just too much too soon.
I'm toasting stale bread and thinking of you
Is that a sex thing?
Ordained minister or not I hereby renounce all moral responsibility for any and all related occurrences
My liver needs the occasional pep talk and a reminder that we are two weeks into freshman year of college.
As we have told you before, the first rule of hook-up bingo is we don't talk about hook-up bingo
I think I just figured out how to make weed tea in the coffeemaker.
Yeah he drove 30 minutes at 3 AM to come fuck me in my neighbors treehouse
she stuffed her marc jacobs purse full of cereal
classy
Randomize
