ad ew i am wasted whats my problem
How do you wash franks red hot sauce, whip cream, grapejuice and shame out of silk?
I would just throw it away. You cant just wash out shame, it has to soak for like a month.
so he made me dinner last pm @whch point i askd if i could help out. he hands me his fucking laundry and asks me 2 do it
only you. it could only happen to you.
yo everyone went to the hospital last night
Well, think of it this way, if this were 200 years ago your father would have received the most goats in all the village for your fertile loins. Think about that.
You insisted on squirting shots of captain morgan in your mouth with a turkey baster by like 930.
I mean... It's a win/win situation. I mentor the kid for an hour and then I get to fuck his mom. I know deep down I'm helping them both
I want to hump her dimples until her face caves in.
So many issues. You honestly need help.
To drink from my fkask next to a cop car or to not drink from my flask next to a cop car
He asked me the next morning if he fell asleep inside of me. Drunk is an understatement.
Owwww. A manager/ employee sex scandal that DOES NOT involve me! SCORE!!!
Also I know you probably did not understand anything I said on the phone last night but thank you for pretending.
I can't believe I haven't fucked an Elvis impersonator yet.
I found my wallet. Still have no idea when I put mad dog in my steel water bottle, though...
oh and i figured out why we kept smelling vomit. ive got vomit on my socks. putting the heater on my feet was not the best of ideas.
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