I woke up to them arguing over who would get my morning wood. Oh, and I was dressed as Santa.
She is the perfect woman. She cooks, gives good head and doesn't care that I have a small penis.
When boys buy condoms it makes me feel proud of their mothers for doing a good job
how was it?
he was petting the bushes because they were "napkins"
What vodka is american?
Skyy. I already looked it up for 4th of july.
Body shots with my MILFs MILF!!
All I did was send my mom an ecard
Thank you <3 he just looked at me, fist bumped me, and asked me what was on my titty....we may cut her off
I don't fucking know. I'm out stimulating the economy. Not locked in a room with a marker board.
Oh at the liquor store again?
Like I owe him sex. Hell fucking no. I owe myself sex. With a celebrity. Or a clean pornstar. Who knows.
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
Aka I'm headed to the liquor store because I don't know how to handle my emotions.
All I remember is being lured out to sit by the fire by you holding a piece of pizza in front of me
Just remembered sticking my head out the window as i drove us to walmart and yelling that i was a golden retriever.
Also, sorry for verbally assaulting you when you asked if you could dump the bowl.
It's his. I know, I'm pregnant with a genetic douche bag but at least he'll be pretty!
I kept my extra Molly pill in my wallet in the change part, that's also where I keep my body jewelry while I'm working. The nose ring punctured the pill essentially coating itself in MDMA. My nose ring is back in my nose. This could be entertaining
Randomize