Um, that's called prostitution
Not if I leave it on the nightstand, then it's called cab money
either my laughing turned him on, or he wanted to shut me up. either way, i dont care. it was amazing.
all I know is he gave me a Cialis and tried to take me home.
Jessi just used the excuse "it's not you it's me" to get out of getting a lap dance.
How are YOU going to look? Buying 40's on Christmas eve.
she's using the space heater to try to heat up a pop-tart...
Are we going out tonight?
My conscience says no but my vag says yes
In that case, I'll try 2 find a date. But my options are AA friends or fuck buddies.
If I hid at school to avoid the cops, is it fleeing and evading or just being a good student?
She's like the Oprah of therapy. AND YOU GET A STRAITJACKET. AND YOU GET A STRAITJACKET. WITH A PADDED ROOOOM
Got drunkdialed by my estranged mom while wallowing in pinkeye drinking 100 proof eating ramen alone. Year summed up perfectly.
How was jagerbomb pong?
It was like communism. Great in theory. Terrible when put into practice
Being forward is somethimes a problems. Like in sexual deity Kong.
I think you’re losing coherence.
I am
Yay I only have ONE giant mystery bruise from yesterday
Idk why more people don't drink at work ... i mean, yeah, the cash might be off tonight, but my customer service is fucking phenomenal right now
Randomize
