I don't know what you were told but i for sure didn't sleep with any one but steve's couch.
Pretty sure somebody just said 'I used to have a nipple'
that's awkward
Yeudjkisdjxbfceryuj. i love having a qwerty keyboard just so i can do that.
I didn't mind getting the stomach flu from him. we had great sex AND I'm seven pounds lighter
I just saw an old lady yelling at a dead pigeon for leaving the oven on.
Have introduced beer-pong to my work's Tuesday lunches.
Half of my brain feels like I donated it to science and they basically just poured jack Daniels on it and put out cigarettes into it before returning it to my skull
Fastest way to get judgmental looks on a Sunday morning: wear sunglasses inside carrying a case of beer and thin mints at the grocery store. May or may not have ran into the glass door.
Gotta love Minnesota
He was dressed as the 420 Easter bunny...he looked like a walking anti-drug campaign.
It was marvelous. I was drunkenly conversing with my professor in some of the best Spanish I've ever spoken.
You know it was a weird night when you find curly fries in your purse the next morning...
you told the taxi driver your yeast infection was so bad you wanted to F a popsicle
My roommate wasn't home and I was too drunk and tired so I peed in the trash can. Twice.
suburban family judging/laughing at us after Jenna just pulled two flasks out of her boot on the subway
I told my mom that I might be hungover today so she needs to make me an omelet.. it happened and I'm happy
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