I woke up to them arguing over who would get my morning wood. Oh, and I was dressed as Santa.
She is the perfect woman. She cooks, gives good head and doesn't care that I have a small penis.
When boys buy condoms it makes me feel proud of their mothers for doing a good job
how was it?
he was petting the bushes because they were "napkins"
What vodka is american?
Skyy. I already looked it up for 4th of july.
Body shots with my MILFs MILF!!
All I did was send my mom an ecard
Thank you <3 he just looked at me, fist bumped me, and asked me what was on my titty....we may cut her off
I don't fucking know. I'm out stimulating the economy. Not locked in a room with a marker board.
Oh at the liquor store again?
Like I owe him sex. Hell fucking no. I owe myself sex. With a celebrity. Or a clean pornstar. Who knows.
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
Aka I'm headed to the liquor store because I don't know how to handle my emotions.
All I remember is being lured out to sit by the fire by you holding a piece of pizza in front of me
Just remembered sticking my head out the window as i drove us to walmart and yelling that i was a golden retriever.
Also, sorry for verbally assaulting you when you asked if you could dump the bowl.
It's his. I know, I'm pregnant with a genetic douche bag but at least he'll be pretty!
I kept my extra Molly pill in my wallet in the change part, that's also where I keep my body jewelry while I'm working. The nose ring punctured the pill essentially coating itself in MDMA. My nose ring is back in my nose. This could be entertaining
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