Jack off faster Americas best dance crew is beyonce themed
why didn't we just drop out of school years ago and become dominatrix bitches who beat men?
I don't know but we should still do that
So how many licks to the face does it take to get kicked out of the bar?
The last thing I remember was paying off her younger brother not to judge me, then puking on his shoes.
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Oh man, are we repeating last 4th of July?!
That shouldn't even be a question, it's a tradition now. Hope your manhood is ready.
Do you remember making out with the dude in the back of my cab last night?? You said his mustache tickled your tongue.
I told him about the time I blacked out and shit myself and he still wanted to have sex with me that night. Feeling pretty optimistic about where this fling is going.
So last night took an interesting turn.. Never thought I'd say I had to pick up my glasses off the floor of a strip club
The hair on my legs is officially flapping in the breeze when I walk. I must say, being single does have perks and this is one of them.
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I really have to stop going to the movies high. Spending $10 to not know what the fuck is going on is starting to get pricey.
I woke up naked buried in snacks. Best night ever.
I may be a feminist, but I am not above using my body to distract you if it means I might beat you in a game of scrabble.
I have so many feelings about this burrito
I have wine with a bendy straw bitches I can do fucking anything
This is the third time I have overheard parents tell their children "don't be that girl" in reference to me. I'm either doing something horribly wrong or amazingly right
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