Well you know what I always say about freshmen.... If you want it, and they've got it... get it.
sooo i think when i get back from rothbury i should probably take a pregnancy test
but you would be showing by now. i'd just save the money and wait for a large crap in 6 months that starts crying. then you'll know.
I've come to notice a late period isn't as exciting when you have no reason to worry
just threw the rents a curveball by making french toast and bacon when i came home sober. good luck tellin when im high/drunk now.
Until you find your self finger banging supergirl in the middle of the dance floor while her friends are passing around for luigi mustache for a photo op, YOU HAVE NOT HIT MY LEVEL
Just drove by where I lost my sausage gravy virginity
I'll be in SoCal at my bachelorette party, aka embracing a fireman covered in KY and chocolate shavings.
Nope, had to pee on the side got violated by tall grass. Then someone came around the corner and I had to stop mid pee to dive into the car.. Pants down
I just watched this dude try to convince this girl to go home with him. She was like, That's cute, you're cute.and she just walked away. Man I'm so not drunk enough to be around this level of sad.
So far I consider it a great summer because I have had to buy Plan B a total of zero times
I thought you were dead but then you asked me if your tits looked good. They did.
If you find me in the bathroom in a fetal position, licking frozen bacon .. I might have Drank a little too much.
I need to go home for the safety of everyone in a 10 mile radius, especially me
How was that girls surprise party last night?
Got absolutely destroyed tried to put somebody's leather jacket on and make out with their mother. You know.. the norm
GOD I WOULD STAB DANNY IN THE EYE WITH HIS OWN PENIS
.........That big, huh?
No. I would cut it off
Randomize
