apparently my drunken alterego is a lazyeyed bisexual.
she kept checking the clock when she was giving me head and at midnight she said she had to stop because she cant eat meat on fridays is that bitch serious
Come on, video tape it. Take one for the team
He is going overseas for 8 months, not only was that blowjob a going away present, but i was supporting the troops
It's sad really how 5 am brings with it a distinction from drunken to pathetic.
The bouncer was kicking me out and I put up my finger for him to wait while I chugged the rest of my drink..all he could say is "are you serious right now?"
we put a pacifier in your mouth because you kept drunkenly singing country music.
Hung over does not do it justice. I am hung like a horse over. I am hungover and over and over. I am hung, drawn and quartered fucking over. They just told me I can't keep my sunglasses on in the office. Fuck drinking with you people.
As sure as my left ball is bigger then my right. We will have our moment.
I'm like 87% sure some random guy starting biting my ear after grinding me for like 30 seconds... I feel suprisingly unconcerned
That's the fall semester you first snorted drugs off my ass I think
Today's weekday brunch started at 2pm, and consisted of $7 of sandwich and $50 of cocktails. Also, I hustled the bartender for about $3 playing nickel poker, but he may have been letting me win. Either way, he didn't get into my pants.
Its like bringing all that milkshake to the yard and I'm a diabetic and can't have any
You had me on my knees catching cheese balls in my mouth and moaning. In front of all your friends.
With great liquor, comes great irresponsibility. Remind me of this night tomorrow.
Randomize
