Just looked in the bathroom mirror before getting to this exam to see If I look as bad as I feel & the answer is no. I look amazing, even in yesterday's clothes
Just gargled Fireball to get the fish taco taste out of my mouth. Almost as good as gum.
so the situation is a+b=c where "a" is how much you weight, "b" is my gravitational pull, and "c" is how erect your penis is.
I said ACK before Andy Samberg made it even remotely funny. That tool is stealing all my lines.
Yeah, you've definitely been jizzing in your pants years before he made it socially acceptable
CONFIRMATION: i wiki searched it and Justin Bieber is 15 not 13. so i dont feel like as much of a pedofile now....
He looked at me like he has never had a girl throw up on him before.
We snorted a line of cocaine and xanax, and then played a game of Backgammon. It was surprisingly therapeutic.
Soo time for a life change, my 6 yr old sister made my gf a puke bucket for her birthday
Dude squirt doesnt even begin to describe it i thought she was the lost portal to atlantis with how much she let out
she never specifically said NOT to fuck her boyfriend so technically we can still be best friends
He said he looked out his window and I was sitting in the grass with blood everywhere talking to a dog.
are you just sitting in your hotel room drinking popsicle vodka?
.....well anything sounds bad when you say it like THAT
What are your thoughts toward getting nasty in a minivan?
He just snapchatted me a blank snap that said "miss our sex" Vagina game too strong
its weird getting into a political debate with a pony dressed as an anime character online
Randomize
