Alls I know is that his gf looked like Beyonce and he looked like Babar
Do NOT cum in me, on me, or in my bed.
If he doesn't notice me by the next party, i'm just gonna go up to him and pll his pants down and blow him.
Sounds like a plan.
Thank God they found balloon boy, I was afraid that Michael Jackson was ordering take out from heaven.
I need to move out. I just walk of shamed my way into a family breakfast party. There's no response when grandma says "where you coming from in heels at 9AM?"
the "its better than getting an actual virus from an actual porn star" argument failed.
Apparently she came home completely covered in mud, pretending to be a bird...and she still had more sex than any of us this weekend.
My mom's 50 year old alcoholic friend just told me about how she was more whoreish then us at our age. Challenge accepted.
Court can wait. right now you and your magic penis need to be here satisfying me.
We have so much sex to catch up on
I'm standing at the bottom of the driveway w a sign that says plow me
Come get your sister, she's waving a shoe about and threatened to "teabag the Shit" out of the doorman because she can't check the shoe in.
The cops spotted my on my walk of shame down the boardwalk and gave me a ride home. I'm starting to make a name for myself here.
THIS THING HATES MY LIVER
That shit was hard as fuck. It felt like a mountain entering my vagina.
Randomize
