Porn is love you can see.
btw.sex in the wood isnt as romantic as it seems.heels kept sinking in the dirt and pine needles were sticking to the fishnets
i wish i had your life
True love is taking a shit with the one you love in the bathroom with you.
Now he's talking about how he's writing in a journal because he doesn't remember "his thought patterns when he was in elementary and that's distressing". I'm walking home. Fuck this.
Stage 55 clinger. not a typo. I cannot even believe this shit.
she said 'i love fried rice', threw a condom at me and passed out naked.
I was also standing on my bed with a road cone pounding on the ceiling at 3am. Not sure why
She had her underwear around her neck. No one can tell me i'm a slut now.
Blood. All over. Pre coke adventure needs to slow down unless I'm involved
Hey history final, how's it feel to be raped in the ass by my steel cock of ACADEMIC PERFECTION?
you are way too vulgar to be a girl
She liked to slap me in the face while she was on top. All I can say is that big boobs can excuse a lot.
Woah there. I lasted a semester and a fourth of college not having sex. trust me when i say keeping my virginity was an obstacle course of olympic proportions.
The virgin olympics. I would win the gold. For America.
I can't believe I had to sit there pretending to play Halo with a condom on for 20 Minutes because your brother barged in to tell a story.
I have a surprise for you guys
What is it?
A MOTHER FUCKING SURPRISE DON'T ASK QUESTIONS
I'm at the drive thru window, five minutes out. If the bathtub is empty or you're dressed when I arrive I'm not sharing.
Randomize
