I'd wear matching sweaters with you
she started talking about my kids
was she topless?
i wish there was an iPhone app that lets you write a TeXt LiKe tHiS
dude...come out of the closet already
my nick name has gotton too long over the years..C.T.P.S.G.F.P.G.......cock tease private school groupie frat party groupie.
so the girl i've been sleeping with for 3 weeks now just figured out that i don't know her name
I sang Jenna happy bday in the middle of throw up hurls
I've got to admit, I'm a little hesitant about giving him road head. I've seen how he drives and I've seen how he acts when I give him head. A small part of me is saying this is going to end badly.
Guess who has got hockey tickets for tonight? Only cost me road head going to and coming from the game
The cute guy in my class hurt himself and is on crutches. My first thought was "Good. He'll be easier to take down." Like he's a gazelle and I'm a dick tiger. What's wrong with me?
you were passed out so I asked you what my name was and you opened your eyes and yelled "ricotta cheese"
no way
that's when i decided you were gonna be okay
Faking my way through an entire party as a British exchange student. Wish me luck.
I want to be a supportive friend to her, but I also want to sleep with her ex now that he's single.
Angels sing when his face is between my thighs. I came 3 times before he even came up for air.
G&T. Gin and tonic. GIN AND TONIC. GIN AND TONIC AND FUCKING LIME
His dick smelled like strawberries...it was awesome.
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