I swear to god he was trying to crawl under my door last night muttering "I'm Alex Mac! I'm Alex Mac!"
I am totally the chick from Intervention who barfs up wine and then re-eats it.
Definitely just saw a grown man at wal mart wearing high heels and carrying a baby
What the fuck were you doing at wal mart?
Just passed on a threesome. I'm too old for that kind of morning after.
It's a Lindsey's Going to Jail Theme party.
He wouldn't give me a cup of water for my bong so i sat in the drive thru to run up the timer until he gave it to me.
She had sex in a public bathroom and slept on a couch in the dorm lobby. It's only Monday
HURRY. I NEED DRUNK. MORE DRUNK.
SHUT UP I CAN'T HEAR YOU OVER THE SOUND OF UKULELE AND LONLINESS
They have a genuine stripper pole secured to the floor of their living room. I am thoroughly take advantage of it. I've made $5 so far. Why don't more places have poles??!
I was trying to pee in the bushes and the person who lived in the house where the bushes were planted started knocking on the window to get me to stop peeing in their bushes
Fell asleep with Kristen and woke up with Sarah. It's official, vacation has begun.
Sushi was just eaten off my naked body. I feel like I can die in peace now.
Well, I'm hung over and my penis hurts - two signs of success
This is my life. Currently ordering a gift for my straight married girlfriend's husband from my lesbian married girlfriend.
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