Let's hustle tonight so we can relax tomorrow
Perfect. Like where your heads at
By relax I mean have sex
Soo i just shotgunned a water balloon...
So can I buy you a drink sometime?
Sure, but make it a double, I'm drinking for two these days.
Someone told me that drinking would get me no where in life. Drinking has gotten me everywhere in life.
def just vomited mimosa in the gym trashcan. i weigh less already so i say its been a solid workout.
I don't know how but I have our hotel room door handle in my purse... this can not be good
I swear this guy grew up in land without leagues. someone should inform him he's way out of mine
He was a bulldog and my face was like rare meat. Never again with the drunken ones.
He counted every piece of macaroni in the box and then faceplanted into the bowl
When you passed out on the kitchen counter she brushed and flossed your teeth, then carried/dragged you to bed. Why aren't you married?
She was wasted talking to my dad about the hunger games than she passed out in the shower and flooded the hotel room...
Dude. I don't even want cuddles. I just want an acknowledgement that I just had balls in my mouth.
I would literally only have sex with a dinosaur right now.
Ha! Just garden hosed my vag and thought of you.
He's a downgrade and it was quick. But it was dick nonetheless.
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