i just smoke outta the biggest bowl i've ever seen. the kid was totally compensating for a tiny weeenie.
My "High Times" magazine came in today, as well as my girlfriend's new sex toys. We're calling in sick today.
I think youre just another guy trying to take advantage of a young naive innocent girl
you're not innocent... Once you have taken it in the turd cutter you can't label yourself innocent.
He locked about 20 beers in a suitcase and put it in the fridge. For a complete idiot, he's a goddamn genius.
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If a man's penis is referred to as "the family jewels" does that make a woman's vagina a jewelry box?
his mom gave me my lost underwear folded up along with the rest of my christmas present. tell me this cannot be happening.
hr gave me pretxwk salad and a doubke shot of grey goose. i approve! tou guys are a beautidil couple.
I. recorded a message of me yelling at myself to "get up out of that bed" and set it an alarm. REALLY loud
Probably TMI here but I just rubbed one out while listening to thunderstruck, almost ripped my dick off.
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He was chasing Ciroc shots with sips of Captain Morgan... he didn't make it to midnight
Guess who just enrolled into online classes at Hogwarts? This gal.
So I don't know, I'm not a doctor, but I might be juggling dates with 3 different guys...
I'm just blindly tossing my dick into whatever comes my way.
we need to tell them stories about when happens when we're sober so they think they know what they're in for when they're actually completely unprepared for whn happens when we get drunk
Best and worst whiskey dick ever. I am hungover and can't move from the hours of sex, he on the other hand has a raw bruised dick. I win.
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