My professor really needs to stop abbreviating. I'll never remember what "Fun. Anal. Trade-offs?" means when i study.
Why does Jon Cryer have a career?
That is a good question.
It's a sad day when you realize you are no longer above fucking in movie theater bathrooms.
I wish "capable of destroying an innocent girl's life" is something I could put on my resume
i gave you head in a backbend. if that doesnt say happy birthday i dont know what does.
i woke up to banging and pieces of ceiling falling on my face
You can identity the picture as me the mistress his wife and him. It's that kinda awkard.
I like how he had to correct himself in stating that I was the fat one in the threesome.
I kind of learned that hotels are unnecessary. Boys will just take you home, but that's tough with a group. I believe in us, though.
i meant to type that i went to that party for shits and giggles, but my phone corrected me and said for shots and goggles...either one works
Woke up naked on a bed full of money, doughnuts, and keys that weren't mine. Unsent dick pick on phone, and cheap cigar butt on my pillow. Also...I maybe hotwired my car.
She's like the Jonah Hill of sorority sisters.
tinder day one and i already had more guys message me about "the girl with the big tits in my second picture" than about me. MY 17 YEAR OLD SISTER CAN GET LAID WITHOUT EVEN HAVING TO MAKING A PROFILE
to be fair she does have a great rack
Isis wins if we don't have the loudest, kinkiest sex in every part of my house tomorrow
A lady played my boobs as if they were drums. It's been that kinda night.
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