so ur a construction worker, male escort, sex god and surfer? lol
well its been awhile since I've surfed
Tonight must have been good, I have already had two cups of coffee but still couldn't figure out how to operate a door.
woke up with a used condom shoved in my ear. i officially hate alcohol.
Thank you blackberry messenger, for giving me a way to sext faster and more efficiently
it was such a weird mix, KFC and penis
I feel like college is just an experience in what names I can't name my future son.
I just found my coat check number in my underwear.
I'm promising sexual favors in return for his responsible life decisions. Now THIS is growing up.
The condom broke. Its OK tho, turns out I was just humping her thigh for 20 minutes. Jager dude, Jager.
Dude, you went to another fraternity's formal as a joke and came home with one of their dates. AND you managed to get her number. Please explain to me how that's not a good night.
That's a lot of people she's fucked in one picture.
Do you think it would be a margarita if you just out tequila in a sonic slush?
Last night was like blooper reel sex. He dropped me!!
He found out about your side hoe and still helped you try to find a lizard that got in the house
My liver has officially said "fuck this shit" and escaped from my body.
Randomize
