ive never been so in love with another man before, in a totally none sexual way... no homo
Played the LOTR drinking game last night. Ended up in boxers running thru the lot at ross's place screaming "for frodo"
the real housewives reunion is on...i wanna see if danielle can look any more surprised than the facelift allows
i wanna see dina punch her face back to normal
its like playing clue every morning after we party. she did him in the kitchen with..oh god.
that sweater is a total boner killer. you might as well be wearing a wedding dress.
I checked into jail on foursquare
What is the protocol for an "i'm sorry I had my ex retrieve me from the bar so I didn't drive drunk" blow job
How bad is it that I'm banned from all of your family functions due to sleeping w/ both your brother and sister and they both hate me for pursing a relationship with either of them.
we shared soup. that is literally the extent of my romantic life right now
Just to an Octoberfest and a sex party. Nothing wild.
Mistakes were made. Hot mistakes that I want to make again. But tapping your employee is def a mistake. Esp in front of two other employees.
I'm highly inebriated watching star wars, this text was sent via the force
I looked so sad that Jessica gave me a bar of soap. So that's where I'm at.
It's like everybody loves Raymond but the total opposite and everyone wants him to die
Yes please. My parents would fucking love him and I'd love fucking him. That's a win-win if I've ever seen one.
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