Yeah I'm pretty much like lane on gilmore girls except my mom doesn't look so mean all the time.
There is no way he is gay with that hair.
Not only did a random toaster end up in my house last night, it's also full of skittles.
He asked if I wanted to blow his flute? Please call me and pretend there is a family emergency!!!
i'm at a party where swedish girls are dumping laundry detergent on each other because it glows in blacklight. this is awesome
he cried for an hour, then he threw up on my lap then started singing party in the usa...opera style...
There are rumors he has a square penis....ill do anything though....
the girl peeing in the stall next to mine has really cute shoes. on a scale of 1 to restraining order, how weird would it be to compliment them from in here?
Put it this way, at one point I was getting stoned on the roof of the strip club with one of the strippers while another one gave me a free lap dance. That wasn't even the best part of the night.
i'm pretty sure i can feel a baby kicking just looking at him. if he didnt impregnate you, you officially have an iron-clad uterus.
Seriously I'm dying. All my insides are fighting their way out of me. With light sabers and machetes.
I guess there's no delicate way to say "I'm 90% sure I sucked his dick in the bathroom of the bar."
I've had your balls on my face a bunch of times so the least you could do is buy a girl some dinner.
this dude is way too smart. he just explained to me the different scientific components of drugs while we smoked. i said i loved icecream.
Did you at least know who's jizz it was?
That is questionable.
Randomize
