I changed my mind about Tim Gunn. I like him now. Mostly because he said someone's dress looks like a gay t-rex. Or something.
Skanksgiving break is awesome already... pilgrim and indian roleplay tonight.
Talking her gay man friend into dancing with me officially makes me the world's best wingman. ever.
he was shitfaced drunk and couldn't walk but could still recite the top 10 in order from the first season of american idol. impressive
It's like the only way I know how to apologize is by giving a blow job.
Upside of a two-day migraine: thanks to a prominent "E" in the middle of every pill, I think we can totally pass off Excedrine Migraine as ecstasy to stupid, drunk freshman. This is totally going to happen. That entrepreneurship course is paying off.
He only dropped the Russian accent after we started having sex.
They invented the twister shot game. You put a shot on each circle, take it when you land on it, and if you fall, they funnel the mat and make you drink it. New best friends.
Weirdest sensation ever: having your penis fall asleep. It was like tiny hulk hogan was choking it out
But in the grand scheme of things, "should i bang a hot roommate or a sexy giant" is really not a bad lot in life
That's some primal shit right there. My vagina is all like CONSUME HIM AND HIS FRUIT HE WILL GIVE YOU SONS!
I think we've entered a low point in our relationship when I'm sending you pictures of pubic hair designs "because they're funny"
You drink too much. You cuss too much. You have questionable morals. You're everything I've ever wanted in a friend.
Taking a shit in a Texas 7/11... not accepting phone calls now lol
Sometimes you have good days, sometimes m you delete 360 screenshots off your camera roll.
Randomize
