she left her pants. im pretty sure she grabbed mine on accident. im like 9 man sizes bigger than her. wtf
i can't help myself.. i am just so in love with the kitchen manager.
...he was wearing JNCO shorts.. i'm pretty sure i saw the dragon.
Thanks for making me watch you dance provacatively by yourself in the bathroom so you could see if you looked fat.
Just saw a girl in a wheelchair puke then rally. Diversity matters.
As we walked into his room, he said welcome to the hurt locker. I should have left, but I love that movie.
He introduced himself to me as "the gayest gay who ever gayed." I like him already.
now I know why they wanted me to come. apparently gay guys are stripper magnets
Finally hooked up w/ that yoga instructor chick. Got a little more than I expected. Like a full on bush more than I expected. How do you tell a girl that her bush scares you?
I am one Jewel song away from suicide watch
I just woke up from quarter beer tuesdays wearing 3 pairs of underwear, none of which are the ones I left wearing...2 Around my waist and one around my shoulder in an attempt at a bra. At least drunk me tries to be decent?
If I come in tomorrow with a cane and a seeing eye dog it's because I just mixed up my salicylic acid acne stuff with my eye makeup remover
We really shouldn't need this many nicknames for the women you've had sex with.
You asked me what the point was. Told me your were dying alone and then had me take you and Wendy's where you bought 3 meals and ate them in about 10 minutes saying you didn't care if you got fat...
I decided taking Molly and seeing Birdman seemed like a wise life choice.
I'm not sure if I should pay him or he should pay me, but someone should get paid for the sex I had this morning.
Randomize
