It must have been true love
I don't call true love eating a bag of doritos and then going down on each other
I think I just sat on my labia. Can I borrow some scotch tape?
Who spends 33 dollars at Taco Bell and lives???
for future reference: anal bleach BEFORE boozing
So many stories. To uyou are sober. I heart you though. Jesus. Dirrty dancing jusyt came oine!!no. Lie.
dude wearing that thong all day was not worth the 7 bucks
Just beat off to internet porn while talking to my mom on the phone and eating a cinnamon roll. U have 5 minutes to get on my level
Now I'm heckling that my belch is more exciting than their fireworks and I peed down the driveway.
When the hubs wants to wear his training mask during sex and pretend to be Bane you just go with it.
I just realized that with the new snapchat update / emoji sticker thing I can now use easily use emojis to cover my boobs in nudes.
Someone messaged me on POF and wished me a Happy International Women's Day. Why do I even bother anymore?
You realized your blanket was a snuggie, spread your arms, and yelled "tonight I sleep like jesus!"
yeah....try hearing them in person. it sounds like two muppets going at it
I’ve officially bought the ticket for my future dick appointment 😂
Drunk me made cabbage burritos at 1am after going to hustler hollywood.\nI bought socks. Lol
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