Getting fucked up met up rando with a girl I confesswed my love for last night. weird, going with it
she thought don quixote was a type of tequila.
is it sad that I can recall my outfits by who took them off?
i just feel like it would be irresponsible for you to not have sex with me again.
My vagina agrees.
Is it sad that I just used my electrical knowledge to not only fix but improve my vibrator?
She went dumpster diving. Found flourescent light bulbs, carpet samples and $15. We got a bottle of Popov, played star wars and threatened random people with the carpet. Get on our level.
I judge a person on how well they respect their vaginas... I can tell by the lack of respect she has for hers I dislike her.
during charades she pointed to herself and you guessed 'girl who wants to fuck me'
I hugged the bouncer as we left.
The psychic I saw today told me NOT to text the guy I haven't heard from yet since our first date this weekend b/c it wouldn't go anywhere...Miller light said otherwise. Miller light > Cleo
I can smell the sangria seeping out of my pores
Build a thousand brigdes, lick one butthole. What am I remembered for? Buttholelicking.
wasn't that the evening we made out with the girls from the dental school, drank 3000 beers, almost had to beat up a guy at the strip club and James nailed some hot piece of tail and took her OSU windbreaker, which my dad went on to wear multiple times after finding it in the garage.
Yes. To all of that. Yes.
I woke up with sticky red stuff all over my sheets, face, and chest. Apparently after I blacked out I thought eating ribs in bed was a good idea
Its the damn oven. I think it wants to eat me.
Randomize
