dude, the building's fire alarm was going off for over an hour last night and you didn't move
that's ok, when I'm passed out drunk I'm impervious to flame
five shots of tequila, anal and 3 cigarettes. not my best idea on a saturday afternoon.
And that's when he stuck his finger up his own ass to prove it would feel good...
Dude she let me cum on her face
You have the wrong number I'm the she who let you cum on her face unless some other girl has let you since this morning
we sixty- nined on a tennis court.. not even drunk. you say insane. i say creative genius.
Went home drunk last night and peed on my Christmas tree, my mothers going to fucking kill me
I will always remember that night by waking up in that tablecloth the next morning
Having the sex-a-thon in the back yard led to some really odd tan lines.
Like handprints on my lower back...
Drunk naked twister. My place. Heath is trying to use his dick as a third leg.
Just thought you should know I'm having a reunion tour of Athens this weekend. Minus the weird guy I was fucking last time.
I threw up in my closet when I was hammered last night. Like a fucking toddler. I can't play with the grow ups.
My plan for the weekend: 1) Get shit faced in Vegas. 2) Not die
The fact that you got a stranger guy to buy you a pizza off tinder makes me feel amazing
Chili is not acceptable fuck buddy food.
Unfortunately the rum ran out midway through our viewing and we had to suffer in silence for the rest of it.
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