she keeps a pillow, blanket, and a pack of saltines under the bathroom sink, for "rough nights".
You asked me to be the big spoon, when you passed out on the stairs
She came to college a virgin and left on court order. We ruined her.
If your wondering where your blanket is, I put it on the 2 guys you brought home last night. Their still sleeping outside on the trampoline.
I will come over now to take full advantage of you in your vulnerable state.
Fine. I should warn you I just threw up in danas fish tank. Fish are dead. Livers dead. I smell and look like a dead animal. And not showering. So deal with it.
So it sounded like a midget was barfing IN our walls again this morning ...
You were fucked up like a footballbat trying to eat gum off your shoe. And that wasn't even the nights lowest point.
Well it's a moot point because I did have a sink & I peed in it.
the last thing I heard was you screaming as the rodeo team herded you to the next party
I'm drunk in your building find me and we can have sex.
For the record you were pretending you were in a rocket when you drove from wawa to your house. So like 2 minutes of me listening to you making rocket sounds over the phone lmfao
My whole house smells like Spaghetti-Os and cat litter. I think I've failed as an adult.
the only reason I'm still sleeping with him is to get the university's secure wifi password
If you can give me an orgasm, you'll get a trophy.
Me and some guy are crying in a port a potty together after another guy broke up with both of us.
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