Call me immediately, my only recent boy news involves me biting a dick.
He has 250 profile pictures. Of course he was a douchebag
i recognized the place by the puke stain i left on the pool table when i hooked up with his roommate.
Just did lines off a tackle box. Love Montana.
i know. thats why i need an open bar. i'll get hammered and make a toast about how his dick is like the titanic. large, but full of failure.
They have chocolate covered tequila candy at work. This is not a drill. May be drunk by noon.
I had to wash my hair with conditioner because my sister got hammered and gave the dog a 3am sprinkler bath with my shampoo.
It may not have seemed like it to you, but I was very sad that I was cheating on my GF with you. I was crying on the INSIDE.
Running my fingers through my hair was like that scene in Patch Adams where the old lady got to swim in a pool of pasta. I love Molly.
I need five more minutes of sobbing.. AND THEN I will get back to studying
im not letting a little injury get in the way of my alcoholic/drug problems. we ARE getting turnt tonight.
Don't worry I sent a creepy stalker message to a guy I slept with 6 years ago, Sunday Funday rock bottom
Have you ever thrown up in the middle of your hair appointment? Cause I have..
Look, his dick is so good at being a dick that it makes me see God. And I don't even believe in God.
We were driving past a farm when he screamed at me to stop the car, then he jumped out and tried to ride a cow.
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