i keep walking around campus wondering if anyone is as stoned as i am
im goin to the NYE party with a tuxedo painted on my body. i know a girl who does it. wanna join?
his pokemon pajamas? the fact that he was proud of the stretchmarks on his arms? or finding out he has a daughter that went to high school with us? ...you tell me what was the dealbreaker
I woke up to him climbing naked through my bedroom window with a bottle of jd in his hand. Of course I had sex with him.
I'm more impressed with the spaghetti smoothie at the present moment.
You sat there for 20minutes trying to seduce the picture of my dad.
I want to meet new people and vomit on their things instead\n
Ive never seen him vulnerable before. He just had surgery and looked so cute on his crutches. like a little baby bird with a broken wing. that i wanted to nurse back to health. with my vagina
making a list of all the places we've peed. separate list of places we peed when we were stoned
There's a picture of you on facebook laying in the street with 3 cops standing over you after you faceplanted off that guy's shoulders.
Is that what happened to my face?!
Sitting topless in my room drinking wine from a box... It's good to be back at school
I'd say it's his fault for never running us through proper protocol for "catching your RA in the middle of him banging some girl"
We had an in depth conversion about the best way to take a dick pic. Both with and without mirrors.
Hey know anyone who wants 58 lbs of whole frozen chickens for a couple bowls?
I apparently ooze single. The second I left his house after break up sex five of my old booty calls text me
Randomize