I used the word aforementioned in my paper. That's an automatic A in community college.
If I had known I was gonna take my tights off and throw them over the balcony I would have shaved my legs.
Just so you know, I'm standing in my bra eating cereal. My keys were in the cereal box.
Looking for the remote in the couch. Finding Adderall beads. Considering utilizing.
Hes a nice guy and all but I'm only interested in his drunken alter ego.
hotdog in my bra and i still managed to score. Got a bit freaked when he tried to eat it though. I paid 3 bucks for that fucking hotdog.
BTW the amount of schmoozing I am doing towards some guy for an ID that may or may not look like you... You better love me.
They were swingers. Real swingers. Thought it was going to be awesome until some fat guy tried to put my dick in his mouth.
i'm covered in glitter and body paint WTF
We're showing the video later bring pizza
I think my AA sponsor just booty called me.
bitch, i have a flask. i've got things under control.
god. marry me.
i've got three words. i. was. spanked.
Plan b and 5 hour enegery breakfast of a champion
Grandpa just whipped it out and started pissing on the way to the game stuck in traffic. I saw EVERYTHING. :(
Best single mom victory - getting eaten out in my dodge caravan in the hospital parkade at midnight.Three words: screaming multiple orgasms.
Randomize
