he called me "his little blueberry cunt muffin"...how would that make you feel?
When we ran out of red solo cups we switched to Starbucks cups for beer pong... Who doesn't want to live in Seattle?
based on the size of her vibrator, i'm going to be a huge disappointment
This was baby jesus's way of getting you to wait until the next bikini wax
I have bruises on the inside of my thighs from sliding down the stair case...thanks for encouraging that slut show
Oh man. Realized I was high when I realized how long I'd been watching Roseanne
Challenge: Try to have your balls hanging out in every picture you take tonight
Challenge Accepted
All I could think when I saw it was, "All right, Vagina, only one of us is getting out of this alive."
She had cheddar bay biscuits in her purse. Biscuits, Id and cash. I'm gonna marry her.
Lol I think I might have been a little aggressive last night there is a blue ass print from your jeans on my wall
I wouldn't say I LOVE Pacman. I mean, sure, I'd battle against you in an epic Pacman struggle for blow jobs and glory. But I mean, who wouldn't?
I need to pull it together. I just cried my eyes out to Master Chef Junior.
I'm in Home Depot and I can feel the straight bob the builders staring at me. I bet it's like I have a rainbow arrow pointing at me.
He's not very smart so he didn't know I was yelling at him with monologues from Scandal.
Alcohol won't break your heart. I mean, unless it's all gone maybe
Randomize
